Comprehensive Consent Guidelines

F - Freely Given

What it means: Consent must be given without pressure, coercion, manipulation, or threats.

In practice:

• No financial pressure ("I already paid, so you have to...")
• No emotional manipulation ("If you cared about me, you would...")
• No threat of negative consequences ("I'll leave bad review if you don't...")
• Clear ability to say no without fear
• Equal power dynamics (professional relationship, not personal obligation)

Red flags: Intoxication, power imbalances, financial desperation, fear-based compliance

R - Reversible

What it means: Consent can be withdrawn at ANY time, for ANY reason, without explanation required.

In practice:

• Either party can say "stop" or "no" at any point during booking
• Consent to one activity doesn't mean consent to all activities
• Previous consent doesn't obligate future consent
• Changing your mind is always acceptable
• Partial refund/compensation available if booking ended early due to withdrawal

Example: "I know we agreed to 2 hours, but I'm not comfortable continuing. I'd like to end the booking now."

I - Informed

What it means: All parties must have complete, accurate information to make informed decisions.

In practice:

• Clear communication about services, boundaries, and expectations BEFORE booking
• Honest representation in profiles (accurate photos, service descriptions)
• Disclosure of relevant information (STI status if applicable, physical limitations)
• Transparent pricing with no hidden fees or surprise charges
• Clear understanding of what activities are included/excluded

Violations: Bait-and-switch tactics, misleading photos, undisclosed fees, misrepresenting services

E - Enthusiastic

What it means: Consent should be active, engaged, and positive - not reluctant or passive.

In practice:

• Look for active participation, not just absence of "no"
• Verbal affirmation ("Yes, I'd like that" vs. silence or hesitation)
• Body language indicating comfort and engagement
• Check-ins during activities ("Are you enjoying this?" "Is this okay?")
• Genuine interest, not compliance to avoid conflict

Warning signs: Silence, hesitation, stiffening, lack of participation, verbal agreement but negative body language

S - Specific

What it means: Consent to one thing is NOT consent to everything. Each activity requires separate consent.

In practice:

• Consent to kissing ≠ consent to sexual activities
• Consent to one sexual act ≠ consent to different acts
• Consent today ≠ consent tomorrow (each booking is independent)
• Consent with protection ≠ consent without protection
• Discuss and agree on specific activities, not general categories

Example: Instead of "Are you okay with everything?" ask "May I [specific activity]?"

What to Discuss Before Meeting

Essential Pre-Booking Conversations:

• Services & Activities: Explicit list of what IS and IS NOT included
• Boundaries: Hard limits (absolutely no) and soft limits (maybe under certain conditions)
• Duration & Timing: Exact start/end times, what happens if time extends
• Location & Environment: Where meeting will occur, who else may be present
• Protection & Safety: Condom use, sexual health status, safety precautions
• Photography/Recording: Explicit consent required, never assumed
• Payment Terms: Amount, method, timing (prevents financial coercion)
• Special Requests: Attire, role-play scenarios, specific preferences

Sample Negotiation Template:

"I'd like to confirm what we discussed: [duration] appointment, [location type], services include [list], boundaries are [list]. Protection will be used for all activities. Is this your understanding as well? Anything you'd like to add or clarify?"

Check-In Practices

Verbal Check-Ins:

• "Is this okay?" / "Are you comfortable?"
• "Do you like this?" / "Does this feel good?"
• "May I [specific action]?"
• "Would you prefer [alternative]?"
• "How are you feeling?" / "Do you need a break?"

Non-Verbal Cues to Monitor:

• Positive signs: Relaxed posture, active participation, eye contact, vocalizations, reciprocation
• Warning signs: Tension, pulling away, closed body language, silence, lack of engagement, tears
• Freeze response: Complete stillness (common trauma response, requires immediate pause and check-in)

When to Pause:

• Any verbal or non-verbal indication of discomfort
• Change in mood or energy level
• If something doesn't feel right (trust your instincts)
• Before transitioning to new activity
• If either party appears intoxicated or impaired

How to Withdraw Consent

Verbal Withdrawal:

• "Stop" / "No" / "Wait"
• "I need to pause"
• "I'm not comfortable continuing"
• "I'd like to end the booking now"
• "This isn't working for me"

Non-Verbal Withdrawal:

• Pushing away or physically backing up
• Covering oneself or creating physical barriers
• Crying or showing visible distress
• Becoming unresponsive or freezing

When Consent is Withdrawn:

• Immediate Response Required: Stop ALL activities instantly
• No Questions Needed: Don't ask "why" or argue - simply stop
• Provide Space: Physical distance if requested
• Check Welfare: "Are you okay?" "What do you need?"
• Respect Decision: No pressure to continue or explain
• Financial Resolution: Discuss refund/compensation calmly, or defer to platform dispute resolution

Example 1: Introducing New Activity

❌ Wrong approach: During activity, suddenly attempting new act without discussion.

✓ Correct approach:

"I'd be interested in trying [activity]. Is that something you're comfortable with? If not, that's completely fine and we'll continue with what we discussed."

Possible responses:

• "Yes, I'm comfortable with that" → Proceed
• "No, that's not something I offer" → Respect boundary, continue with agreed activities
• "I'm not sure, let me think about it" → Give time, don't pressure
• "That would require additional fee of €X" → Agree to terms or decline

Example 2: Recognizing Withdrawal

Scenario: During booking, companion becomes quiet and stops participating actively.

✓ Correct response:

"I notice you've become quiet. Are you okay? Would you like to pause or stop?"

If response indicates discomfort:

• Immediately stop all activities
• Provide space and allow them to get dressed if desired
• Ask "What would make you feel comfortable right now?"
• Offer to end booking early without argument
• Respect their decision about whether to discuss what happened

What Constitutes Consent Violation

Clear Violations:

• Continuing after explicit "no" or "stop"
• Performing acts not agreed upon
• Removing protection without consent ("stealthing")
• Recording without permission
• Using intoxication to obtain consent
• Physical force or restraint without consent
• Threatening negative consequences for refusing

If You Experience Consent Violation:

• Immediate Safety: Leave immediately if safe to do so
• Emergency Support: Call MyBookXXX 24/7 hotline +31 85 130 5500
• Report to Platform: File detailed report within 24 hours
• Local Authorities: File police report if criminal activity occurred
• Medical Care: Seek medical attention if needed (STI testing, emergency contraception, documentation of injuries)
• Support Services: Access counseling resources via MyBookXXX support network

Platform Action: Reported user will be immediately suspended pending investigation. Confirmed violations result in permanent ban and potential legal action.

Intoxication & Consent

Important: Consent cannot be validly given while significantly intoxicated or impaired.

Guidelines:

• Social drinking (1-2 drinks) may be acceptable if judgment clearly unimpaired
• Obvious impairment (slurred speech, impaired motor control, confusion) = no consent capacity
• If companion arrives intoxicated, reschedule booking
• If client is intoxicated upon arrival, companion should decline or reschedule
• Substance use beyond alcohol generally precludes valid consent

If uncertainty about impairment: Err on the side of caution and postpone.

Regular Clients & Ongoing Consent

Important: Past consent does NOT equal future consent. Each booking requires fresh negotiation.

Best Practices for Repeat Bookings:

• Still discuss boundaries each time (people's comfort levels change)
• Don't assume previous activities are automatically acceptable
• Continued check-ins during activities (don't become complacent)
• Respect that relationship history doesn't override consent requirements
• Be explicit rather than assuming mutual understanding